Velvet Lips | Easy Ways to Deepen Your Connection During Sex
Velvet Lips is one of Atlanta’s first sex-positive sex education venues offering classes and workshops using Somatic Sex Education and other techniques to foster personal discovery, open dialogue, and increase sexual awareness.


Easy Ways to Deepen Your Connection During Sex

16 Apr 2015, by Marla Stewart in Sex Arsenal Blog

A lot of my blogs talk about various dynamics of sex, but I haven’t written about what we can actually do during sex for a long time. I don’t talk about my sex life much, but I had a few wonderful sexual experiences recently that really helped to inspire this blog.

A lot of us enjoy the connection we get when we have sex, and I’m no different. I love some good dirty talk, I love when people take charge of my body and I love wallowing in wetness and sweat. During sex, there are a lot of things that we do that are conscious and there are a lot of things that we do that are subconscious. Some of these things are turn-ons and some of these things are turn-offs to the people that we are having sex with, but it’s up to you to take charge of your sexuality and enjoy yourself.

If you want to be more conscious about how you’re having sex in order to accelerate your connection with the person that you’re having sex with, there are a number of things that you can do.

Smile – Giving someone a smile helps the both of you. Most people can’t help but to smile back and it naturally puts you in a better mood.

Make eye contact – some of us tend to be really shy and not look at our partners for fear of making intense eye contact. However, making eye contact can really form an emotional bond and transformed into memorable moments during sex.

Listen to their body – Being intuitive with another person’s body can be an extraordinary gift to have. Really listening to every part of their body, especially their genitals, can help that person feel connected to you and establish you as a lover they’d like to know more deeply.

Demonstrate your love – You don’t have to be “in love” with them to demonstrate love on their body. Simply using a variety of touches and pressures can be demonstrations of love. Talking in detail with your dirty talk about how you’re connecting can be a demonstration of love.

Communicate your wants – There are some of us, particularly women, have a habit of not expressing what we want in bed. The fact is, if you’re trying to establish a connection, your lover most likely wants to please you just like you want to please them, so communicating your wants is not only benefiting you, but it helps establish a trust with your lover that helps strengthen your bond.

Be present and authentic – If are uncomfortable with a certain sex act, express that and give an alternative. Although I love for people to push themselves, if something is out of your comfort zone, don’t be afraid to say it. Being present and being authentic is the best gift you can give your lover. People can smell fake and ingenuity a mile away, so being vulnerable enough to express yourself and living your truth can only be the way to accelerate a wonderful bond with a lover.

I’ve had the privilege to experience these things and for me, I enjoy my attachment to the people that I give my body to. I’m pretty sure that they enjoy their attachment as well.

I have a challenge for you. The next time you have sex with a lover that you would like to connect with, engage in ALL of these activities and see what the result actually entails.

You never know…you may just experience an enlightened kind of love…

Cheers to your sexual success!