Velvet Lips » sexual intelligence

What is Sexual Intelligence?

Marla Stewart — Sat, 20 Sep 2014 16:44:38 +0000

With all the various types of intelligences out there in the world, there is one that I’m particularly keen to and that is sexual intelligence. Although I never framed it as sexual intelligence, essentially the keys to having a healthy sexuality lie in education, exploration and examination. It is the education of whatever it is that you are in sexually interested in, exploration of the activity that you want to happen and then finally examining your emotions and how your body felt to further determine if that’s a particular activity for you.

After reading Dr. Marty Klein’s book, Sexual Intelligence (2012), he tells of his three components of Sexual Intelligence (p. 55):

Information & knowledge – thinking about your fantasies, experiences and preferences, knowing yourself and your partner’s body and how it will act over time
Emotional skills (which let you use that knowledge) – nobody wants to be involved with someone who is rude, self-involved, scared of closeness and a terrible listener?
Body awareness and comfort (which let you express yourself and your knowledge) – vehicle attunement and enhancing the body’s tolerance for pleasure and intensity

In his book, he gives plenty of examples of the clients that he’s had over the past 30 years and how they have sexually related to each other. Basically, when you have sexual intelligence, you will start to truly enjoy your sex life and all the sexual experiences you may have. He breaks it down by each of these 3 components and helps you to understand all the different aspects of these categories. In essence, it’s about having emotional intelligence intertwined with knowledge and exploration around various sexual experiences.

I will be coming out with a book soon titled, The New Laws of Attraction: The Ultimate Guide To Total Seduction, which will feature more about Sexual Intelligence and how to use it in your daily life. In the meantime, check out Dr. Klein’s book!

Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex–and How to Get It

Aim to Please & Please to Aim (until Orgasm)

Marla Stewart — Tue, 02 Sep 2014 23:58:41 +0000

When it comes to sex, many of us are people pleasers. The way to building our arousal becomes dependent on our lover’s satisfaction and if our lover isn’t pleased, then we aren’t pleased and it makes for a very difficult sexual situation. However, when our lovers are pleased, that’s when we become the most turned on and the ability to orgasm becomes easier.

We aim to please for several reasons: 1) we enjoy the company of our lover(s), 2) it helps us with intimate, emotional and or physical bonding, and 3) it helps build our ego and confidence with our sexual techniques. Overall, it helps us to feel good about ourselves and with the person(s) that we’re with.

There are several ways that you can aim to please someone: 1) pay attention to what they say to you and implement it into your sexual techniques, 2) pay attention to what their body is saying to you while you’re implementing the sexual techniques and 3) give feedback in the form of dialogue or moaning that indicates that you are enjoying the pleasure that you’re giving them. Aiming to please is a form of conquering a goal in which you want to achieve, which brings us to the next point of being able to please to aim until orgasm.

Pleasing to aim until orgasm is total goal-oriented behavior. It is about pleasing your lover until you are able to get the orgasm that you want them to have. It is also about getting as close to your orgasm as possible (and if you’re turned on enough, coming to orgasm without touching yourself!). When you’re goal-oriented and persistent, you will get what you want, provided that you make the right moves at the right moment and with the right attitude.

Overall, pleasing to aim requires persistence, erotic acuity and sexual intelligence. Having all these things will help you achieve the prowess that you need to please your lovers and please yourself!

Next week we’ll talk more about sexual intelligence, so make sure you check your email for updates!

Cheers to your sexual success!