2) Get Your Orgasm! – We all know that your brain is the biggest sex orgasm that you have, but a lot of us don’t know how to train our brains. A lot of us have become a little dependent on pornography to help us get turned on and achieve orgasm, but there’s a better use for porn. Instead of depending on it every day, look to porn only once in a while. When you go to porn every once in a while, it helps when you’re in a sexual situation and it’s taking you long to have that orgasm that you want. For instance, if you’re getting oral sex and it’s been taking quite awhile and you feel your partner getting tired, think about those clips that you watch every once in awhile. Although this bypasses your feeling of a possible whole-body orgasm, it does help you to get an orgasm that’s achievable and get it in real time and in a possible hurry. And this works great for quickies too!

3) Test Your Monogamy Level (or How To Be Monogamish) – Many of us believe in hot, monogamous relationships and many of us believe in multiple sexual and/or emotional relationships. However, a lot of people tell you that you can’t have both; but the reality is that you can have both of these things. Although, it’s a form of non-monogamy, being monogamish has all the benefits of being monogamous with the openness and excitement of being with other people. To test your monogamous limits, first you need to talk to your partner about the possibility of being with another person to see if your partner is open. Whether if your partner is open or not open, you can also ask your partner if they are open to going to a local sex club or to a local sex party. Going to a place where there’s open sex around might influence you in one way or another and even at the local sex party, you can discuss some rules while you are there. Coming up with “what if” situations might help to diffuse any tensions between you and your partner and potential sexual partners. In the meantime, you can enjoy each other while you’re there and let those moments sit with you. Overall, opening up the dialogue about potential sexual partners within your monogamous relationship might just spark that LTR sexual slump!

4) Apple Cider Vinegar, Anyone? – Having a healthy vagina is a necessary part of your overall well-being (that is if you have one, of course). Our vaginas tend to fluctuate in the amount of bad and good bacteria that we have, and the more acidic food that we intake, the more acidic our vaginas. The vagina is a naturally acidic environment, so eating alkaline foods are best for the vagina. But sometimes, we don’t eat the best foods for us or don’t properly check our diet to see if the food we eat is alkaline. However, there are some fluids that you can put in your vagina that will help with the balance of the bacteria. If you’re having unprotected sex with men who are free of sexually transmitted diseases, semen is alkaline and balances well in the vagina (unless you’re allergic to it, of course). However, if you’re not having unprotected sex with men, there are some practical ways to avoid the vagina from being too acidic. You can take a bath with sea salt or even dilute some apple cider vinegar and douche with it. You should only do this if you feel your vagina is starting to feel “off” (in other words, starts to smell different or becomes yeasty or itchy). These methods will help to get your vagina back into play and ready for the next journey!

5) Spank Your Mark! – Playing with toys can cost you a lot of money. Some of the best whips and paddles can be hundreds of dollars and if you don’t have that kind of money readily available for spending on products, it’s best to try to find some household products that can strike your fancy (literally!). Most people use wooden spatulas or spoons to use as a great striking instrument, but if you want to take it a step further and you have an extra $10 in your pocket, you can purchase the most basic ping pong rackets and make your own custom-signature paddle! Simply print out the mirror image of what you want your mark to look like (no bigger than a 3”x3” square), cut out the outline, trace it on your paddle and then proceed to carve in the paddle with a box cutter or something similar. And then “voila!” You have a brand new paddle with your personal mark, ready for high energy spankings and up close photos for proof!

This week, I was hanging out with some close friends of mine and they were discussing a person who had sexuality issues.  Not just issues, like, they’re an incompatible lover (with a lot of people), but overall how they were trying to vie for someone’s attention in an unhealthy and overbearing matter.  You know, things like, pretending to be interested in things that the other person is interested in when they don’t have a clue or taking classes that they think will help them to be a more interesting person.

Most people in this world just want to belong in one way or another and some people try so hard that they don’t even know what they like for themselves.  When you ask someone what they desire for themselves, it’s interesting to see their blank face (if they have one).  Some of us have been so conditioned to please others that we haven’t even taken the time to see what we desire for ourselves.  Especially when it comes to sexuality, people shy away from knowing what makes them really aroused.  Sexual desire is something that is so present, yet some folks want to repress that energy.  They’d rather get distracted by something else than face their own horniness.

With that said, here’s 3 ways to invoke your own sexual desire:

1)       Go out and explore the world and see whom/what you’re attracted to.  This requires you moving out and about in the world and doing what you love to do, as far as hobbies and other non-sexual likes.  It might even include watching various aspects of porn and seeing whom/what turns you on.

2)      Evaluate your desire and see where it has manifested in your life.  Most desires you have can be “rooted” somewhere.  The kinds of questions you need to ask for yourself are “Where did this desire come from?  How does this desire make me feel?  Do I feel like this desire can empower my sexuality?  Why or why not?”  Thinking about these questions will really help you see why you have other emotional reactions as well and can also help you propel your sense of power.

3)      Act on your desire.  Provided that your desire isn’t illegal or hurts someone else, acting out your desire could really solidify why you like what you like and if you would like to do it again.  I’m a fan of the “3 strikes” rule where I will try anything that I seem to like about 3 times and determine if that particular desire is good for me to act out or if it’s better to keep it as a fantasy.  Keeping it as a fantasy has its advantages, especially when you are in need of reaching that orgasm that you want so dearly.

The bottom line is, it’s better to know your own desires, so at least your partner(s) can know what exactly turns you on.  For most people, they love to please their partner(s) and to be one step ahead can really provide some of the confidence that you need to foster your ego and solidify your prowess with your partner.