Velvet Lips » oral sex

5 Random Sex Hacks

Marla Stewart — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 16:23:26 +0000

1) Pillow Princess – This is a simple hack if you’re having sex in the bedroom and ready to go down on your girl. You want your princess (or queen) to be as comfortable as possible when she’s achieving an orgasm because the more relaxed she is, the better she will be able to achieve an awesome orgasm. When you’re getting ready to perform oral sex on a woman and you’re on your bed, put a pillow or two underneath her butt to lift her pelvis towards your mouth. Not only will she be able to relax more and enjoy the pleasure that you’re giving her, but it will help your neck from being too strained, especially if she wants you to be there for awhile.

2) Get Your Orgasm! – We all know that your brain is the biggest sex orgasm that you have, but a lot of us don’t know how to train our brains. A lot of us have become a little dependent on pornography to help us get turned on and achieve orgasm, but there’s a better use for porn. Instead of depending on it every day, look to porn only once in a while. When you go to porn every once in a while, it helps when you’re in a sexual situation and it’s taking you long to have that orgasm that you want. For instance, if you’re getting oral sex and it’s been taking quite awhile and you feel your partner getting tired, think about those clips that you watch every once in awhile. Although this bypasses your feeling of a possible whole-body orgasm, it does help you to get an orgasm that’s achievable and get it in real time and in a possible hurry. And this works great for quickies too!

3) Test Your Monogamy Level (or How To Be Monogamish) – Many of us believe in hot, monogamous relationships and many of us believe in multiple sexual and/or emotional relationships. However, a lot of people tell you that you can’t have both; but the reality is that you can have both of these things. Although, it’s a form of non-monogamy, being monogamish has all the benefits of being monogamous with the openness and excitement of being with other people. To test your monogamous limits, first you need to talk to your partner about the possibility of being with another person to see if your partner is open. Whether if your partner is open or not open, you can also ask your partner if they are open to going to a local sex club or to a local sex party. Going to a place where there’s open sex around might influence you in one way or another and even at the local sex party, you can discuss some rules while you are there. Coming up with “what if” situations might help to diffuse any tensions between you and your partner and potential sexual partners. In the meantime, you can enjoy each other while you’re there and let those moments sit with you. Overall, opening up the dialogue about potential sexual partners within your monogamous relationship might just spark that LTR sexual slump!

4) Apple Cider Vinegar, Anyone? – Having a healthy vagina is a necessary part of your overall well-being (that is if you have one, of course). Our vaginas tend to fluctuate in the amount of bad and good bacteria that we have, and the more acidic food that we intake, the more acidic our vaginas. The vagina is a naturally acidic environment, so eating alkaline foods are best for the vagina. But sometimes, we don’t eat the best foods for us or don’t properly check our diet to see if the food we eat is alkaline. However, there are some fluids that you can put in your vagina that will help with the balance of the bacteria. If you’re having unprotected sex with men who are free of sexually transmitted diseases, semen is alkaline and balances well in the vagina (unless you’re allergic to it, of course). However, if you’re not having unprotected sex with men, there are some practical ways to avoid the vagina from being too acidic. You can take a bath with sea salt or even dilute some apple cider vinegar and douche with it. You should only do this if you feel your vagina is starting to feel “off” (in other words, starts to smell different or becomes yeasty or itchy). These methods will help to get your vagina back into play and ready for the next journey!

5) Spank Your Mark! – Playing with toys can cost you a lot of money. Some of the best whips and paddles can be hundreds of dollars and if you don’t have that kind of money readily available for spending on products, it’s best to try to find some household products that can strike your fancy (literally!). Most people use wooden spatulas or spoons to use as a great striking instrument, but if you want to take it a step further and you have an extra $10 in your pocket, you can purchase the most basic ping pong rackets and make your own custom-signature paddle! Simply print out the mirror image of what you want your mark to look like (no bigger than a 3”x3” square), cut out the outline, trace it on your paddle and then proceed to carve in the paddle with a box cutter or something similar. And then “voila!” You have a brand new paddle with your personal mark, ready for high energy spankings and up close photos for proof!

How Alcohol Can Help Your Sex Life

Marla Stewart — Wed, 19 Feb 2014 21:43:00 +0000

As a bartender for the last 9 years and studying sexuality for the last 14 years, I’ve learned so much between the correlation of alcohol and your sex life. When navigated carefully, you can have a great time; but navigated poorly, it can ultimately be disastrous. I mean, I know I’m not the only one who fell asleep whilehaving sex.

There are definite advantages when it comes to having a drink or two. If you have a drink or two, it can relax you. It might be easier with your guard a little down and a little less uptight or anxious (if that’s your normal state). Having a drink also helps you into the realm of assurance; really believing that you can do whatever you set your mind out to do in that moment. They don’t call it “liquid courage” for nothing, right? In addition to alcohol relaxing you and giving you the confidence that you need, it actually has benefits physically & mentally. First, it can make you do things that you thought weren’t possible. Is it that super complex yoga move that you saw on television that you thought you would try, or is it some dirty talk phrase that you thought you could only say in your head? In addition, ingesting alcohol makes your juices taste better. With the extreme sugar content of alcohol, oral sex can be pleasant for the giver. It’s a perfect excuse for you to have a glass, get flirty and convince a lover that you need a little oral satisfying.

My personal favorite is ingesting red wine. It turns out that having a glass of red wine a day helps your heart in the long run because of all the antioxidants and lessen the instances of heart disease as you age. Now, there’s no official suggestion amount because people’s tolerances are different and dependent on body size/density and if you have had any food in your system for absorption. As a bartender, I could easily detect when someone was at their limit depending on their body type (and how often they came to see me at the bar). I often noticed that their confidence would go sky high and they oozed with sexiness over time; talking to strangers, flirting and my personal favorite, spending more money.

Besides all these great benefits, it’s been documented (check out Think & Grow Rich) that having a drink or two helps you to realize things or expand your potential. Of course, it’s not the best vibrational energy (in fact, it’s the lowest), but it is an energy that can manifest your decisions quickly, whether good or bad.

The realization here is that using alcohol can be a great thing; but excessiveness can ruin your experiences. Everything in moderation, right?

Besides, even Jesus knew the value of a great red wine…

Perfecting Your Genital Linguistics – For Vulvas Only

Marla Stewart — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 15:46:00 +0000

After teaching my workshop named “Maturing Your Genital Dialect©,” there are always plenty of questions that arise when teaching someone about oral sex techniques. The funny thing about people is that most people think they are the best there ever was, when in fact, we can always strive to do better. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve met someone who thought they were the best and it didn’t turn out that way. There’s also no doubt in my mind that you know those two or three people who have rocked your world and given you the best orgasms of your life. I bet you’re even reflecting on them now. Since there are plenty of ways to have an orgasm, oral sex is a powerful tool to have in your arsenal. Sometimes it makes people fall in love with you instantly, so make sure you use it wisely. I’ve definitely had to learn that hard lesson!

Communication is necessary because you want to know how to protect yourself if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease/infection (STD/I) or if you have an STD/I, you should definitely communicate this to your partner in order to reduce the risk of infection. Remember, in addition to STD’s you can also pass yeast infections and Bacterial Vaginosis (BV), so if you’re not feeling right about your vaginal health, it’s best to refrain from sexual contact. If there is a need to protect yourself and/or your partner, you can use barriers such as latex gloves (cut the fingers off and then cut up the opposite side of the thumb to form a usable barrier with the thumb acting as a tongue holder) or placing plastic wrap (not the microwaveable kind) in the neat crevices of her vulva and get to it. If you’ve communicated that you are interested in fluid exchanging (not using barriers), be sure that you take on the personal responsibility that comes with that.

First, make sure you use your mouth to find the perfect position to mount her vulva. The clitoris should be your main focus and your lips should be inside of the outer lips. There should always be a slight suction when licking on and around her clitoris. Different women like different things, so be sure that you’re listening to her body. You need to have plenty of moves in your arsenal because the best lover is going to be able to hold an oral sex position from 2-5 minutes and then change to a different oral sex position for the next 2-5 minutes and so on. You want to keep doing this until you find which best 2 or 3 techniques get the best response. Then switch up between these techniques to promise a great orgasm.

Before you go in full force, make sure that you start off slow and work your way up to building up speed. However, if you’re really listening to her body and paying close attention, you might not have to build up speed if you have the perfect techniques to fulfilling her climactic goal (provided that there is one). And remember, since all clitorises differ in shape and size, some techniques may be more useful than others. It’s up to you to figure it out!

Here are a few oral sex techniques to practice with (red dot=clitoris; blue line=tongue’s path; black line=general shape to follow – forgive my art!):

Oh Baby! (perfect for small to medium clitorises)

This technique involves you circling the clitoris in small circles with the tip of your tongue. This is a more concentrated move, so in order for it to feel different, you can change up the speed to see which speed she prefers.

To Infinity & Beyond! (perfect for small to medium clitorises)

This move involves you moving in a lop-sided infinity in small circles with the tip of your tongue. You can even motion your head to move into the infinity if you choose to have a more dramatic effect. The reason for the lop-sided-ness is because the most nerves are concentrated in the left side of the clitoris, so the big loop allows you to give that side of the clitoris more sensation.

Smooth Sailing… (perfect for flat & semi-flat clitorises)

Almost the same as the “Oh Baby!,” this particular move requires you to use your tongue in a different way. With the top of your tongue (generally, where people get pierced), you are going to move it in large circles around the clitoris. The suction in this move is particularly important because instead of a light suction, you are going to suck with your whole mouth a little bit more than usual. This allows more blood to rush to the clitoris and heightened sensation.

The Kissing Pull (perfect for fat or large clitorises) [no diagram]

This is one of my favorite moves! This move comes in two parts. The first part involves you using a light suction and stroking the clitoris from the top of your tongue to the tip of your tongue and repeating that move for about 3-5 times. Then you pull on the clit slowly using medium suction and pressing your lips against her vulva (like an open-mouthed kiss). This gets the best reaction every time and because the move is dynamic, most women wonder what you’re doing that feels so damn good. Go ahead and try it. I dare you.

So those are just a few of the moves that I have in my arsenal…

…so what moves are in yours?