For instance, growing up in California and spending years in San Francisco, it felt more sexually liberating to me (I grew up in a small town suburb of Sacramento).  The amount of knowledge that I gained there highly contributed to the work that I do now.  From sex work to sex clubs to sexual attitudes, kids were informed and embraced their sexuality.  Adults challenged current sexual trends embodying sex felt natural.  To feel sexual meant to feel spiritual and I always stayed connected.

In Atlanta, there is a major separation with spirituality and sexuality.  Some of my clients (married ones!) have such a hard time embracing that sexuality and spirituality go together.  I was grateful for a church group that I did a workshop for because they got it.  They understood the need to be sexual and spiritual and that God intended for us to have sex and use sex as a way of bonding, a way of release, and a way of manifesting our dreams.  However, for most people, this isn’t the case.  A lot of people have learned to feel shame around their sexuality and their bodies and they don’t know what pleasure even means to them and their sexuality.  Church has become regimented as a “something you do” rather than embracing the pathways of worship to be energetically in-tune and hear God.

If you find this to be you, there are several things you can do to change that and connect your sexuality and spirituality.

1)      Pray & Meditate.  A lot of Christians just pray before meal time and this is the only praying that they do.  Believe me, I’ve met and dated A LOT of those.  Praying and meditating go hand-in-hand.  To be spiritually in-tune, you must learn to request what you need and listen to the answers.  If you want a better sex life, request it!  And afterwards, listen for the answers by meditating.  God will show you how to get there.  P.S.  God is the voice in your head that tells you to do something, but is often ignored because we sometimes don’t trust ourselves.  Then, we end up regretting a course of action later.

2)      Channel Your Sexual Energy.  This will look different for everyone.  Basically it’s connecting your sexual energy to the universe.  I personally call mine “Yoni Yoga” where I imagine all the good of the world entering through my root chakra and feeling all that energy right through my crown.  Then, I take that energy, feel the electric buzzing that it gives me and use that energy as I go out into the world.  It’s truly a compliment to all of the good energy that I have received.  (And I will definitely have a video of what I’m talking about coming to you soon.)

3)      Before Sex, Pray.  I know this is probably going to be the hardest for you if you’ve felt a major separation between your sexuality and spirituality.  However, you can start off with a simple prayer said in your head (although it would be better out loud), saying something like “God, thank you for being with me on this sexual encounter.  Please ensure me a great time.”  It’s simple and quick and when you start feeling more connected, you will be able to say more and truly be thankful for the wonderful time that you had.

Always remember that sexual energy is the most powerful energy and when it’s tapped into your spiritual self, there are so many great benefits which you are completely entitled to have.

Cheers to your sexual success!

1)      WRITE DOWN AT LEAST 4 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS THAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN IN YOUR LIFE AND FRAME THEM IN THE PRESENT TENSE.  Say these affirmations out loud when you wake up (or during your prayer/meditation) and before you go to sleep.  It helps to have a sex-positive affirmation, such as “I am sexy” or “I have a healthy and happy sex life.”  Do your best to memorize them and say them as often as you want (with the minimum being two).  A lot of the times that we are stagnant in our lives is because we lack goals and/or lack ways to accomplish those goals and give up on dreaming big.  When we implement these into the Universe, we are essentially integrating our personal goals and locking them in place.

2)      PRAY/REQUEST FROM THE UNIVERSE/GOD WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE AND FRAME IT POSITIVELY.  In other words, instead of saying, “Can you please help my grandma recover from her sickness?”, you can say “Can you please give my grandma strength, courage and healing through this process?”  A lot of times when we pray or request for help, we focus on the negative aspect of it and we frame our request in that way.  However, if you pray or request your help and frame it in a positive way, the Universe comes together to get you what you desire.  It’s difficult if you’re not used to speaking this way, but after awhile, you will definitely get the hang of it.  I meditate and pray every single day.  It doesn’t take that long to take 20 minutes out of your day (10 in the morning, 10 in the evening) to conjure up your desires.

3)      HAVE SEX AND MASTURBATE WITH MODERATION.  Sex has so many great healthy effects, including fostering that sexual energy to manage your creativity and productivity.  As humans, we get caught up because of the sexual repression of society combined with the hypersexuality of the media, so we’re constantly bombarded with all types of sexual energy.  If you are an anxious person, the feeling of wanting to relieve that sexual pressure can be a lot.  For instance, whenever I had a big paper or a huge deadline, my sexual energy would be so intense that I would be pushed pass the point of focus and would have to use my sexual energy in a sexual way.  That way, the excess energy that I have can be used to focus on whatever needs to be done.

4)      USE YOUR SEXUAL POWER EVERY SINGLE DAY.  If you don’t know what your sexual power looks like, I encourage you to meditate on it and write down what your favorite qualities are about yourself.  For instance, if you like reading books, maybe you could share a passage with someone or make a recommendation from the book.  If your sexual power is something physical, like your eyes, you can purposely stare in a sexual or slightly sexual way (that’s not creepy) towards someone and recognize that you’ve used your power.  Some of us are natural flirts and some of us have to try a little hard to flirt well.  However, as long as you’re using it, you’re exercising your power, and when you’re exercising your power, the better you’ll be at it.  Remember, practice makes perfect.

Starting with these few techniques will change your life.  When you start saying your affirmations, your subconscious and the Universe/God get together to make them happen for you.  By practicing and harvesting your sexual energy, not only will you be happier, but you will be more confident, more sure in your decisions and better responsive to your intuition.  Your aura will shine bright and opportunities will constantly present themselves to you.  I have to say, THIS IS A WONDERFUL WAY TO LIVE.