Here are a few ways to help you be more relaxed and connect to people, so that you can be comfortable in every environment that you’re in.

• The same daily affirmations. You’ve heard me say this before, but let me just reiterate how important this step is.  Repeating the same daily affirmations twice a day gets into your subconscious.  This is how I was able to lose 20 pounds in a month.  I had a couple of affirmations relating to my health and this infused into my system and influenced all my moves, all my intentions and all my health.  This is the same with intimacy.  Setting an affirmation like “I am lovable and huggable” or “I am relaxed and comfortable.”

• Stop hand-shaking and start hugging. Hugging is a completely socially acceptable behavior, so be open to experiencing it in every day of your life.  The more you hug people, the more you can connect to people, and that releases oxytocin in the brain which helps with your emotional well-being.  You can get 10 2-second hugs a day or one 20-second hug to help you maintain good health.  Make it a real hug with genuine authenticity that you care for that person – with complete invested intention with your intimacy.

• Touch people. Of course, don’t touch people inappropriately.  I highly recommend touching people on their shoulder.  This is a space that is neutral enough so that people who don’t like to be touched feel okay and that people who don’t mind being touched know that there is an opportunity for them to connect o you as well.  Touching people is one of the indicators of loving someone and when people express their love towards you, think about how good you feel.  It’s the same for others.

• Trust that you might be uncomfortable. And also realize that it’s okay to be uncomfortable.  If we don’t sacrifice our comfort, we will never evolve.  We must be okay with change.  We must be okay with rejection.  We must be willing to get hot or red or sweaty.  We must be okay with outright admitting that we are uncomfortable – the fact is, most people will understand how you may be feeling and sympathetic with you.  Give people the credit that they deserve and trust that you are in the alignment with them.

These 4 steps are just the first steps to gaining the confidence you need to be sure of yourself and illuminate your true authenticity.  We all have the ability to be intimate, not only with people we know, but with people we don’t know as well!

Cheers to your sexual success!

As a bartender for the last 9 years and studying sexuality for the last 14 years, I’ve learned so much between the correlation of alcohol and your sex life. When navigated carefully, you can have a great time; but navigated poorly, it can ultimately be disastrous. I mean, I know I’m not the only one who fell asleep whilehaving sex.

​There are definite advantages when it comes to having a drink or two. If you have a drink or two, it can relax you. It might be easier with your guard a little down and a little less uptight or anxious (if that’s your normal state). Having a drink also helps you into the realm of assurance; really believing that you can do whatever you set your mind out to do in that moment. They don’t call it “liquid courage” for nothing, right? In addition to alcohol relaxing you and giving you the confidence that you need, it actually has benefits physically & mentally. First, it can make you do things that you thought weren’t possible. Is it that super complex yoga move that you saw on television that you thought you would try, or is it some dirty talk phrase that you thought you could only say in your head? In addition, ingesting alcohol makes your juices taste better. With the extreme sugar content of alcohol, oral sex can be pleasant for the giver. It’s a perfect excuse for you to have a glass, get flirty and convince a lover that you need a little oral satisfying. 

​My personal favorite is ingesting red wine. It turns out that having a glass of red wine a day helps your heart in the long run because of all the antioxidants and lessen the instances of heart disease as you age. Now, there’s no official suggestion amount because people’s tolerances are different and dependent on body size/density and if you have had any food in your system for absorption. As a bartender, I could easily detect when someone was at their limit depending on their body type (and how often they came to see me at the bar). I often noticed that their confidence would go sky high and they oozed with sexiness over time; talking to strangers, flirting and my personal favorite, spending more money.

​Besides all these great benefits, it’s been documented (check out Think & Grow Rich) that having a drink or two helps you to realize things or expand your potential. Of course, it’s not the best vibrational energy (in fact, it’s the lowest), but it is an energy that can manifest your decisions quickly, whether good or bad. 

​The realization here is that using alcohol can be a great thing; but excessiveness can ruin your experiences. Everything in moderation, right? 

​Besides, even Jesus knew the value of a great red wine…