All of these conferences contributed to something different to the sexual freedom movement, and I was proud to be a part of them!  Here’s my brief report on my sexual voyaging in July!

Poly Dallas Millennium

Poly Dallas Millennium is a polyamorous conference.  There are mostly academicians and sex educators that specialize in polyamorous relationships.  Last year, I talked about my Master’s Thesis research about folks of color who identified as polyamorous and ended up being in the Dallas Observer.  This year, I ended the conference with a Town Hall Meeting, so I was able to enjoy a lot of the conference.  Ruby Johnson, the creator of Poly Dallas, had drink tickets that we could use throughout the weekend, so I definitely had a great time experiencing that. Throughout the conference, there were some great workshops and I really felt that a lot of the workshops contributed to the larger body of knowledge around polyamory.

However, the sexual voyaging came in when Dirty Lola did her Sex Ed A-Go-Go, as well as the live demos that were created for the night time crowd.  One of the most fun demos that happened was a live blowjob demo from Self Serve Toys from Albuquerque, New Mexico.  The crowd was great and the tips were phenomenal.  Her enthusiasm giving the blow job, first on a real life penis, and then with her favorite dildo, were equally great!

Poly Dallas Millennium gets better and better each year, so I imagine their 5-year anniversary will be great!  When you get a chance, check out the pictures on IG or Facebook to see what the conference was like!

Exxxotica Miami

Because of my relationship with Tyomi, she was able to put me in the lineup at Exxxotica Miami.  I did two classes: Spank Me, Slap Me, Choke Me and Pussy Pleasing & Dick Teasing.  They were both full (standing room only) and it was amazing to see everyone participate.

If you haven’t been to an Exxxotica convention (they are all over the country), it’s a huge convention that features porn stars, webcam models, and kinky folks.  It’s equipped with a dungeon and all day long that they have main stage performances, as well as educational seminars.  There’s vendors for just about everything related to sexuality and it’s truly a unique experience for those folks who want to learn more about the adult industry and maybe even get a little spanking in!

Naughty in Nawlins

Fortunately for me, JonGunnar was able to fit me into the schedule at Naughty in Nawlins, where I got to present my super full Advanced Flirting & the Art of Pussy Pleasing.  The class was absolutely fantastic, but was even more fantastic was the people.  Naughty in Nawlins is for folks who are super free with their sexuality; they mostly come in the form of swingers, polyamorists, kinksters, and overall, folks who love to explore different kinds of bodies.

One of the best moments I had was being in the Sexual Freedom parade and being escorted along the streets of New Orleans.  Jet Setting Jasmine & King Noire allowed Taylor and I to join them on their float as we threw beads out to everyone who was watching.  There were many signs that people were holding up and I was so proud to be part of a group of amazing people who were open and willing to be out and proud about how they express themselves sexually.  I believe that being authentic is the best way to live your life because you only have one, so you might as well live your best one by being genuine!

One of my sexual voyages had to do with the exploration of the dungeon.  I got to spank this beautiful Black woman with a flogger and it was absolutely amazing.  The Naughty team has a bunch of different kinds of getaways, so I recommend you going to one when you get a chance.  Remember, it’s couple-oriented, so the majority of folks will be swingers.  As long as you’re cool with that, you’ll have a great time!

Overall, all of these events contributed to reaffirmation that we are moving forward when it comes to enthusiastic consent, lifestyle/relationship acceptance, and sexual freedoms.  I highly suggest you check them out!

Cheers to your sexual success!

After the fundraiser, I scurried over to Castleberry Hill to a wonderful and quaint joint called The Blu Bisque.  I was greeted by a handsome man who proceeded to check me in and pour me some wine.  There were many people socializing, drinking wine, and making plates of food, as well as a DJ who was playing some sexy music.  The lights were dim and there was a massage table in the middle of the floor.  I was particularly excited because I saw Parish, my Sister of Sexuality, Casey Carter, Erotica creator, and Tia Marie, my incredible business partner for the Sex Down South Conference.

We were all gathered here to check out Goddess Amina, who was giving a class and demonstration on Erotic Touch.  Amina has been in the industry for quite some time doing this amazing and healing work, and recently relocated from Hawaii.  She still travels back and forth quite often, but is now calling Atlanta her home.

Overall, the experience was extremely titillating, educational, and fun; I really can’t wait to go to her next event to see what she will have next!

If you are looking to have some erotic touch done to you or have some work done around intimacy and tantra, I highly recommend her.  She knows her stuff and she’s sexy while she’s doing it.

I look forward to seeing more of her in the future and I’m hoping that we’ll be able to work together on something soon!

Fearless giving is a notion that is radical in its own right, especially since the world is full of fear, shame, and stigma when it comes to sexuality.  To give fearlessly is courageous, thoughtful, and when executed well, emotionally memorable.

Cheers to your sexual success! 

Besides handling business (and fun!), I got the opportunity to go to the Good For Her store in downtown Toronto.  It’s this cute little quaint store with a variety of quality sex toys and more!  I loved this little feminist store stocked with zines, books, and sources for all of your pleasures.  The most fascinating thing that I found in the store is Sex Tampons!  They aren’t like our regular tampons that we have here in the states and they definitely don’t sell them here in the states, as far as I know.  I looked at the reviews online while I was in the store and I was convinced that I had to have them.

They are pink, circular sponges that basically soak up your premenstrual blood.  They go up to your cervix and this allows you to have penetration without a mess!  I don’t know about you, but since I have a high sex drive, no sex while I’m on my period is absolutely out of the question.  I quickly took a picture of this item and sent it to my lover.  She was just as excited as I was (at least, that’s what I was getting out of the text), and I told my wonderful friend and sex educator, Luna Matatas (Peg the Patriarchy, Fuck Like a Goddess), that she had to ship me more when I ran out.

The only one flaw with this innovative sex tool is that some folks had a hard time getting it out.  Luna informed me that she ties dental string around it to pull it out, so I’ll definitely keep that in mind.  Some folks tended to panic that they couldn’t get it out, and I definitely didn’t want that to be me.  As a Type A, I’m generally not okay with being out of control over something that I think I can control.

As I explored all around the store, I spotted this toy.  I had been wanting to get this toy since I was in Amsterdam because I thought it was a suction tool for your clitoris.  Well, I finally learned that it wasn’t.  It might form a suction with your clitoris, but it actually just vibrates.  I was pretty disappointed, but also hopeful.

I’m not a sex toy expert and although I like to experiment with different toys, when it comes to sexuality and sex education, I tend to stay in my lane and not go and try to educate on the sex toy realm.  There are so many sex educators and sex toy sellers that I think it’s best if folks go to them when it comes to toys.  However, I really, really, really, really, hope that someone comes out with a suction toy for your clit soon.  My lover said that I would put her out of business, but I convinced her that nothing replaces human contact when it comes to sex.  Yes, for those of us who masturbate, we know our bodies well, but the joy of being in contact with someone and that kind of foreign touch is definitely a turn on!

Good For Her is run by Carlyle Jansen, who I had the pleasure of taking an anal workshop at the University of Guelph Sexuality Conference a couple of years ago.  She runs workshops out of her shop, which is located upstairs from the sex toys and books.  In addition to having all those wonderful things, she also has an incredible staff who do amazing and wonderful sex positive things, so I admire her work for cultivating the pleasure in our communities.

If you’re ever in Toronto, you should definitely go and check them out!  And if anything, make sure you go and get those sex tampons!

Cheers to your sexual success!

Last week, I had the privilege of being a part of the Sex Track Faculty at the Creating Change conference.  The night before, we had a special dinner where we were able to have the opportunity to meet other Sex Track Faculty and go over what we were going to do the following day.  I was able to meet people from all over the world who were doing similar work in the sexuality and academic industries and if you are a sex nerd, like me, I was totally into everything that everyone was doing.  An amazing group of minds and beautiful bodies surrounded me.  I was grateful for the “foursome” (aren’t you glad I didn’t use that for click-bait?) where I had the chance to introduce myself to 3 new people who were also presenting other workshops at the conference.  I was able to know them a bit more and for this reason, I think I’ll be at Creating Change again and again.  After that, I was really looking forward to the session that we were all facilitating.

Thursday morning, I walk into this really big room and I saw it slowly get filled up.  There were over 300 people that ended up being in this room.  300 people who were willing to be vulnerable and share parts of their desire with strangers.

In the morning, some of the Sex Track Faculty talked about their stories and their desires and why they were important in how they perceive their desire now.  After answering a series of questions, I realized that a lot of my desire stemmed from this one particular incident with a porn star that I had sex with.  Everything from having consensual non-consent to the scariness of unknown sexual expectations to whom I desire can be traced back to this incident and even multiples of incidents like these.  I really felt empowered doing this workshop because I realized that there are so many more nuances to desire than I have originally thought about in the past.  Why do we like the things we do?  Where do these desires come from?  How can I enhance this desire?  How would my life be different if I invoked all of my desires?

During the afternoon, I got the opportunity to share my story and as all those people listened to one of my most intimate stories, I was thanked later about my vulnerability and being open to how this experience has essentially helped in all realms of my life.  It was extraordinary.

We even did a guided meditation that allowed my soul and mind to reframe how I thought about myself and how I was relating to others.  I had questions about my own objectification and the feeling that I have in my body when it comes to my own personal agency and pleasure.  This was nothing short of amazing and incredible brain food.

The Mapping Your Desire Institute helped me with these questions.  The best part about this is that year-after-year people come back to this institute to realize different desires, to dive into old desires, or uncover nuances in the desires that they have expressed before in their life.  It truly is amazing to see people’s developments.

This curriculum set up by Dr. Jaime Grant with the facilitation by Amelie Zurn and Ignacio Rivera, is something that you want to experience.  Maybe we can make this happen in Atlanta at Velvet Lips or at Sex Down South!

All in all, we became new people in this space.  We were brave in this space.  We were loved in this space.  We were able to be at peace with our desires in this space.

So what are your desires and what is stopping you from invoking your desires?

Cheers to your sexual success!

We’re not the only ones fascinated by erotic art and amazement, and the fact that there’s sex museums all over the world is a clear indicator that there will always be a need for folks to embrace all sorts of sexual things.

As some of you know, I want to expand my reach to Fort Lauderdale and Miami, so I’ve been doing some slight scouting and trying to network with other sexuality educators in the area.  I’m still unsure if there is anyone out here that is doing what I’m doing, but it’s worth looking into!  You know I love a good collaborator!

Unbeknownst to me, there is a World Erotic Art Museum located in Miami Beach!  My girlfriend took me out there to check it out and I must say, it really had some unique pieces of art!

There were some really old pieces of art, as well as contemporary art, so the range of art was quite eclectic.  I’ve been to the two museums in Amsterdam, as well as the Museum of Sex in New York, and honestly, this one probably had the most vulvas.  With any museum, you always see penises outnumbering vulvas like crazy, so it was great to see a decent amount of them at WEAM.  It totally made me have the idea of opening up a museum with all vulvas and vulva art.  (Anyone out there listening?)

We spent a good two hours in there, but I’m sure that you could take a little longer in there, if you wish.

By far, my favorite piece of artwork was the sculpture with all the various types of vulvas.  Whenever I’m trying to explain the different types of vulvas for my pussy pleasing workshop, some folks don’t really know what I’m talking about because they probably have never had that much experience with various types of vulvas and clitoris sizes.  If I had this piece, I could totally just point it out!

As social media goes, I’m unable to post the sexy and erotic pics, but luckily for you, I can share them via my Google Drive!  You can check them out HERE!

And remember, whenever you’re traveling, see if they have an erotic art or a sex museum!  You just might get lucky!

Cheers to your sexual success!

There was everything from property that you could purchase to little huts you could rent out to a motel to stay the night in.  They had 3 different pools and a couple of bars to purchase drinks.

There were a lot of people there; not too much where you can’t move, but good enough to be social and have some space in the pool to relax in.  It was a really hot day and I desperately needed some shade.  I was also dehydrated from the night before, so I took the first half of the day to rehydrate and get acclimated to the scene.  My BFF had already seen people she knew, so she started chatting with them and getting to know some of the other patrons.

I decided to get out of the pool (they’re saltwater!) and get in a chair in some shade and catch up on my book (Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle).  However, as soon as I did that, people started coming up to me and talking to me about what it’s like to be there.  Soon enough, I knew I was ready for a drink, so Coco and I headed to the bar for some drinks.

After a couple of drinks, we met up with more and more people who kept introducing themselves to us.  For whatever reason, we attracted a lot of attention and once they found out that I teach about sex, it was a wrap.  Of course, I got all sorts of inquiries and we even met some new fun friends who bought us a ton of drinks.

As the drinks flowed, the easier it was getting to know people and we had about 10 instant friends who we are still keeping in touch with!

There were so many things going on (they had a whole day agenda!) that we almost missed our complimentary dinner!  We had a wide range of food to choose from and we gorged out and soaked up a lot of that alcohol that we had ingested.  We thought about heading to their dance party and late night breakfast, but the sun had definitely drained us.

Overall, we had a blast and I highly recommend you going to Paradise Valley.  They let you in free for the first time, so don’t be shy to discover a new kind of lifestyle!

Once you get naked with a stranger, it can only get better from there!

We got to skip the long line and got reserved seating in the second row. The creator of the show greeted us (and recognized me from last time) and took us to our seats. While we waited for the show to happen, there were some pretty talented dancers doing some pole moves and sexy dancing for the audience as a nice, sexual prelude.

The show itself was fantastic. It was full of erotic poetry, burlesque and even some oral sex techniques from Nikeema Lee. She demonstrated on a balloon phallus that had the audience absolutely wooing over her and wanting to take her home.

Coco and I truly enjoyed ourselves and I was really happy about the fact that the show came to Atlanta again. If you haven’t had the chance to see the Sweet Spot in your city, then you should! It’s always a great time with some amazing and wonderful characters!

It was my first Frolicon adventure (one of the largest kinkiest cons in the nation) and I was ready to enjoy every single moment of it. My BFF, Coco, had gone the day before and told me all the shenanigans she got into. She knew where to go for our adventure, what we should bring and even gave me a tour when we got there.

When she got to my house, she said that it’s best to have a roll-around suitcase since we weren’t staying at the hotel and they had a bag check. Inside the bag was everything that was needed for an adventurous time out: alcohol, mixers, cups, shot glasses, several sexy and skimpy outfits, snacks and more. I followed suit (she picked out several of my outfits) and added my two riding crops to the mix. We called the uber and we were on our way!

When we arrived, she took me to get registered and then gave me a tour. After buying some awesome shoes and other things from the vending area, we decided that we should take a couple of shots and wait for our other friend, Roan, to join us. After our friend got there, this cute person came up to them and said that they were familiar. It turns out they ran in sort of semi-circles and we told them that they should join us and they did! They followed us upstairs to the hospitality suite and we all exchanged sex stories.

Our pregnant friend, Asha, wanted to do a group dinner, so we headed off the grounds and went to a thai/sushi place. It was good food, but my BFF and I were ready to get down to the action. After a purchasing a bottle of Jager and small shots for the buddies, I was ready to get dressed and get down!

As we waited in line for the dungeon, we came across a couple of characters: one guy with girl scout cookies attached to his crotch and one lollipop gal, where you had to get the lollipop without using your hands. I had a good time with that one!

After being voyeurs in the dungeon, it was now time for us to play. We headed to the Apocalypse party, where we sampled drinks. Coco’s favorite shot is a whiskey-pickleback, so we took those along with some others. Before you know it, we were overwhelmed with good times!

After the Apocalypse party, we headed over to the furrie party where Coco had gone the day before and had a great time. She knew this party would deliver and it totally did. We danced our butts off and then decided we need a costume change.

Although I would love to describe every single thing we did, there is just not enough room for a blog. Let’s just say there were videos made, karaoke sang, and unbelievable sex proposals…

Frolicon is truly an experience that you have to see for yourself…

Check out the rest of the pics HERE.

Because I had bought my ticket too late, I ended up making the 3pm show, but I was an hour late because I was having a hard time finding something to wear. I walked in as this beautiful woman, Nikeema, was describing the vulva and advice for helping with an orgasm. The crowd loved it and I did, too. In fact, I never seen a vagina puppet so big, so I was immediately fascinated by it and was looking forward to meeting those folks who were in the show.

The burlesque dancer was so sexy. She definitely had the crowd involved and the eyes couldn’t keep from off of her. She had some amazing burlesque techniques that I had never seen previously, so I thought it was great! I’m getting ready for a comeback performance on Saturday the 28th, so I was definitely taking some notes!

The singer was also fantastic. He swooned the whole crowd and got them to hang on to every single one of his words. The poetry was fantastic as well. The MC of the show was absolutely fabulous. She was full of energy and really sexily captivating. The creator of the show, Jamaican-born, Ainsley Burrows, also did some fantastic poetry that was amazing! It had women standing up and gravitating toward him like a moth to a flame.

After the first show, I made friends with Nikeema who then invited me to be her volunteer at the next show. I happily agreed and got my friends to take pictures of everything that was happening. I must say, I had a blast. I had such a great time watching an amazing show twice and getting to know a ton of people who were attending and involved in the show.

If you missed The Sweet Spot coming to your city or to a city near you, I definitely suggest on checking it out and having some erotic fun for yourself!

Now, I know that there are various smells of pussy and believe me, I can tell the difference between a woman who was out all day versus a woman who has BV.  I can even recognize the odors of “exotic dancer pussy” which is a pleasant pussy odor coinciding with some type of lotion or spray from Bath & Body Works.  For me, I love the smell of a nice, healthy pussy and when I was in this space, I immediately did not smell this.  Granted, even though I was in a sex club, I figured that the smell of healthy pussy would fill the room, but that totally wasn’t the case.  Even when I got up close to this woman and man having sex (with their clothes on!), I could smell her pussy about 5 feet away and it was not a pleasant smell at all.  I actually had to get up and discuss this with my best friend.

As a natural unicorn, I’m drawn to happy couples full of love, but completely turned off by abrasive smells.  This is a primary reason why I can’t date cigarette smokers – the smell is disgusting and a complete turn-off to me.  The smoke affects everything from their clothes, to their breath, to their hair, to just about anything that smoke touches.

The same is true about pussy and how it can shape if you’re turned on or off.  Depending on what you eat, your hygiene, who you’re having sex with, and how you’re treating your vagina can really affect the smell.  Abstaining from sex for a moment, watching what you eat and carefully thinking about your hygiene can help you see what the original scent of your vagina is.  That way, you will be able to recognize when your scent is off and make the necessary changes to your environment.

The fact is, no one likes a rank pussy.  No one.  So if you have a pussy or know someone who does and it smells off, it doesn’t do them any good to ignore it.  Tell them about their pussy or correct the smell of your pussy as soon as possible.

So did I tell that woman that her pussy was rank?  No, I didn’t.  But I hope she got the hint after I got up and walked away…